Overcoming loneliness is all about finding peace and wholeness within yourself. Once you're able to do that, it doesn't matter if you are surrounded by people or completely alone, you'll always feel content.
When we have overcome that need to be liked and surrounded by people, we can experience real freedom, which is something most people aren't actually equipped to enjoy or even tolerate.
Within our body, we are alone, no matter what we are doing, who we are with, or how we choose to spend our life. So we need to learn to be okay with that aloneness. If we can do that, we will never be lonely.
Most people cannot handle freedom. They are always trying to bind themselves,
but only talking... mouthing freedom all the time.
Because freedom needs courage. Freedom needs a certain madness.
They can capture me, they can torture me, they can do so many things,
but they cannot invade me. See, all the boys must learn songs like this,
otherwise you can't floor the girls (Laughter/Applause).
Participant: Despite being surrounded by so many people, we still lack that feeling
of belonging to somebody, being accepted by somebody,
being loved by somebody. How should we deal with that discontent and loneliness?
Sadhguru: On one level, many questions are aimed towards, "How can I be free from this and that?"
Another level you are asking, "How can I bind myself to something or somebody?"
You must decide. What is the highest value in your life – freedom or bondage?
Please, I would like to hear that word. Participants: Freedom! Sadhguru: Oh, freedom!
But if you are free, you feel lost.
If you go into the mountains and you're totally free, that is, nobody around,
nothing around; you’re just in the empty space of the mountains,
you don't feel free, you think you're lost. So, to handle freedom,
it needs a certain clarity and strength. Most people cannot handle freedom.
They are always trying to bind my… bind themselves, but only
talking... mouthing freedom all the time. If you really set them free,
they will suffer immensely. So, this is a evolutionary issue.
In the sense, human beings are right now like this – a caged bird.
If you keep a bird caged for a long period of time,
and then one day you took off the door of the cage, still, the bird won't fly;
from inside it will protest that it's not free, but it will not fly.
Human condition is just that. For all other creatures, nature has drawn two lines
within which they have to live and die and that's what they do.
But only for human beings, there's only bottom line, there is no top line.
And that's what they're suffering. If their life was also fixed like every other creature’s life,
they wouldn't be stressed, they wouldn't be anxious,
they wouldn't be struggling how to handle their own intelligence.
And that is what you're seeking unknowingly. You may seek it in the form of relationships,
you may seek it in the form of profession, you may seek it in the from of…
form of nationality, ethnicity, community, God, heaven, hell.
All you're trying to do is draw an artificial line which does not exist.
Because freedom needs courage. Freedom needs a certain madness (Laughs).
If you're very sane, you cannot be free, because you will go between the two lines of logic.
To be free, it takes a lot of strength, that if you…
First of all, what needs to happen if you want to be free is...
Do you understand that all human experience has a chemical basis to it? Hello?
Sadhguru: What you call as joy is one kind of chemistry, misery is another kind of chemistry,
stress is one kind of chemistry, anxiety another kind of chemistry,
agony one kind of chemistry, ecstasy another kind of chemistry.
At least ecstasy, you know it's another kind of chemistry, I hear (Laughs).
So, your experience of life has a chemical basis to it.
This is the most superficial way of looking at it. There are other dimensions to it,
but for your understanding. Or in other words, what you call as myself right now,
you are a chemical soup. The question is only, are you a great soup or a lousy soup?
Yes, or no? Right now, if you have a chemistry of blissfulness (Laughs) –
if you close your eyes, it's fantastic; if you open your eyes, it's fantastic;
if somebody is here, it's fantastic; nobody's here, it's very fantastic. Yes, or no?
But you have a lousy chemistry. If you look at them, if they smile at you, it's nice,
not fantastic. If they look at you like this (Gestures) suddenly, it’s a problem.
If these people are happening just the way you want, your chemistry is reasonably balanced.
If they do something that you don't like, boom, it goes somewhere else.
So, essentially you have not looked at this mechanism,
What is the basis of this? How it functions? How I can make it function at its highest level?
Right now, let's say you’re really blissed out like me.
Do you care who is around, who is not around?
If they're around, it's fantastic. They're gone – fantastic.
(Laughs) Because your experience of life is no more determined
by what you have and what you don't have. Whether it's people or things or
food or this or that, it is not determined by that. Once
your way of being is not determined by anything outside of you,
then there is no such thing as loneliness. But you will enjoy your aloneness because
whether you like it or you don't like it – at this young age, it's a little
difficult to understand this – whether you like it or you don't like it,
within this body you're always alone, isn't it?
Whether you do interaction or intercourse or whatever, whatever, whatever (Gestures),
still you're alone in this body. Yes, or no? Hello? Participants: Yes.
Sadhguru: If you don't learn how to handle this aloneness,
you have not learnt anything about life. This is the most beautiful thing
(Applause). The most beautiful thing about life is,
nobody can get here (Referring to oneself), it's just my space. Yes, or no?
Isn’t this the most beautiful thing? Nobody can invade me.
They can capture me, they can torture me, they can do so many things, but they cannot invade me
because I have a space which is just my own.
Isn't this the most wonderful aspect of your life?
Don't suffer that, that is the most beautiful thing.
Oh, but you want to pine little romantically and enjoy that... what?
Tch. What are thosesongs – popular songs? Speaker: Which ones?
Sadhguru: Pining for somebody? "Without you I cannot exist (Laughter)."
Speaker: Most of the songs are that way now. Sadhguru: Sing one song, no?
Older ones, older ones. Speaker: I’m horrible at singing.
Sadhguru: Hmm? Speaker: I’m horrible at singing. Sadhguru: Just tell me the words, I will sing.
Speaker: Hum... hum tere bin ab reh nahi sakte Sadhguru: Say it on the microphone.
Speaker: Hum tere bin ab reh nahi sakte, tere bina kya wajood mera
(Cheering/Applause). Sadhguru: You... you're saying it to me (Few laugh)?
Sadhguru: You're saying it to me (Few laugh)?
Sadhguru: Okay, okay. I got it.
Participants: He's a singer, he is a singer.
Speaker: Sriram is a singer. Sadhguru: Sriram!
That song, what he sang.
Sriram sings a Hindi song
Sadhguru: See, all the boys must learn songs like this, otherwise you can't floor the girls
(Laughter/Applause). But the girls should understand,
the guy has a need, and he's doing this – it's not really true,
but let's enjoy the game right now (Applause). Because what we do
it's a certain game. Life is! Because it comes to an end.
But the important thing is, how are you within yourself.
If you are here in such a way that you're only driven by your needs,
you will live a very meager life. But if you can sit here without any need,
but you will do whatever is needed, then you will live a magnificent life.
It's my wish and my blessing, every one of you must have a
fantastic life. Make it happen for yourself